Sooner or later, each of us finds ourselves in a negotiation. It may be when shopping for clothes or a car. It could be discussing rent and concessions with a leasing agent for your company’s space. It could be when you’re proposing marriage.
Different situations require different tactics to be effective.
When discussing negotiating tactics, the term “playing hardball” refers to adopting hardline tactics to try and gain the upper hand. These could be things like making extreme demands, and then only making slow and small concessions. Or, if more than one person is on the other side of the negotiation, playing good cop, bad cop. It might devolve to tactics designed to make you flinch, like personal insults or threats.
But “playing hardball” seldom accomplishes the best outcome; in fact it probably never does. Even if you’re in a position of significant intrinsic power, no one controls all of the options. That power is always limited, whether to a particular company or even a specific country. Even presidents of socialist nations or despots have limitations upon their reach. And history demonstrates time and time again that those who have demonstrated brutal and heartless tactics are overthrown by the one they tried to dominate.
Today’s verse give us an important insight on how to be truly powerful and effective:
CONFESS YOUR SINS TO EACH OTHER AND PRAY FOR EACH OTHER THAT YOU MAY BE HEALED
THE PRAYER OF A RIGHTEOUS PERSON IS POWERFUL AND EFFECTIVE
Far from promoting “playing hardball” as a tactic, the scripture teaches us that being vulnerable and transparent leads us to victory.
CONFESS YOUR SINS TO EACH OTHER
First and foremost we need to confess our sins to God, of course. He is the ultimate source of forgiveness. But confessing our sins to God alone truly is not enough. Let me explain why.
Sin, by its very nature, rarely only involves ourselves. When our sin hurts another person, then we owe that person an apology. We must be willing to admit our sin and repent of it — to them. It takes love and humility to go to someone and clearly and simply say, “I did such-and-such, I was wrong. I’m very sorry that it hurt you and our relationship. I will try very hard to never do it again.” It can be difficult to do. The person may be feeling a great deal of pain because of what you did, and the process of forgiveness may take much more than a single conversation.
It can be especially difficult to do when the person who has been harmed or offended doesn’t know about the offense yet. It is one thing to ask for forgiveness when the issue is open, but it is quite another thing to have to come and present both the offense AND the confession.
I remember getting a phone call one day from the mother of a woman I employed as the bookkeeper for my company, who had called out sick that day. The mother reported that her daughter had forged my signature on a company check and embezzled several thousand dollars. They wanted to come to my office so the bookkeeper could return the funds and apologize. Her confession and apology didn’t allow her to keep her job, but it did keep her out of prison.
THAT YOU MAY BE HEALED
We confess our sins to one another to at least BEGIN the process of healing. It may take quite a bit of time to heal, but the process starts with confession and repentance. Even, and perhaps especially, when our sins are hidden.
There is great value in having someone with whom you can examine your soul and lay out things which might remain hidden for a loving examination. When confession of sin is not a perfunctory requirement but an affair of the heart, then it is able to hold great value. The sacrament of reconciliation offers the opportunity to expose our sin to one who is empowered to offer the forgiveness of the one we’ve most deeply offended – God. The priest listens with God’s ear and speaks from God’s heart. Both in the old covenant and in the new, the priest serves as God’s representative; receiving offerings of repentance and in exchange delivering proclamations and assurances of God’s forgiveness in accordance with His promises.
At one point in my ministry I was part of a leadership team in an emergency shelter. Most of the time we had children in our home who had been victims of abuse. But occasionally we had both mother and children in our home, being protected from an out of control father. I remember a time when one such mother asked me to come to the kitchen and help take a splinter out of her son’s foot. My initial reaction was a bit of frustration, to tell you the truth. Help with a splinter? REALLY ???
Then I saw the “splinter” and almost couldn’t believe my eyes!! While walking barefoot, he had slipped on a wooden floor and gotten a “splinter” that had entered the ball of his foot, had passed the entire length of his foot and was pressing outward at the back of his heel. This “splinter” had to be eight or nine inches long – and that was just the part in his foot !!!
He could have (painfully) just put on his sock and shoe, and it would have hidden the injury. But it would not have healed it. The effect of the injury would be evident in the way he walked, and would eventually impact every area of his life. Untreated, the resulting infection would likely require the removal of the foot; and it could even kill him. Removing the “splinter” was actually much simpler than I thought it would be. And, of course, began the process of healing.
Our hidden sins are like “splinters” in our souls. They can be hidden, of course. But the effect of their injury will have its impact. Left untreated, who knows what it will infect or kill.
The sacrament of reconciliation is a place where God employs His godly servants to be removers of splinters and initiators of healing. Has this sacrament been abused by some? Unquestionably. But the fact that there are doctors who have no business practicing medicine doesn’t invalidate the entire profession! Jesus had good reason to reinforce to His disciples the truth that those whose sins they pronounced as forgiven on earth were forgiven in heaven. Sometimes outside assistance is required before the process of healing can truly begin.
THE PRAYER OF A RIGHTEOUS PERSON IS POWERFUL AND EFFECTIVE
We who are forgiven and healed are declared RIGHTEOUS by God. It is not, to be sure, a one time process. We all sin. We all sin more frequently than we ought. We all require constant confession, repentance, forgiveness and healing. This is why the prayer of confession begins the Daily Office.
Dealing with sin is probably the one time in your life you need to “play hardball.” Give sin no comfortable place. Make extreme demands – “Get Out! And don’t come back!!” Don’t negotiate even small concessions; don’t give an inch.
Deal with each and every sin quickly and fully. The sooner the splinter is out the better off you’ll be.
God pronounces His forgiveness. God gives us His righteousness. His righteousness makes our prayer POWERFUL and EFFECTIVE.
CONFESS YOUR SINS TO EACH OTHER AND PRAY FOR EACH OTHER THAT YOU MAY BE HEALED
THE PRAYER OF A RIGHTEOUS PERSON IS POWERFUL AND EFFECTIVE
